Thunder Kiss
by Z. Alexander
Summary: Before he found The One, he found hands that sent electric currents through his body and a mouth that tasted like blood and lightning. Oneshot. NOT a songfic. Roxene. AkuRoku. Marlene.


**Warning:** this is the strangest idea I've ever come up with. It's definitely AkuRoku at the end, so never fear...but it's also Roxas/Larxene. I really tried to make this believable. This is a next-life fic, but...it's probably a little different from the others out there. I'm excited to see what you guys think.

((I dunno if I'm the only one who noticed this, but Larxene is a babe. Like...yeah, I'd totally hit that.

...If she was real and the age she looks. (Is it weird that if I ever pictured myself in the KH world, I'd want to be paired up with Larxene? I'd never write something so horrible and rabid-fangirlish (even though that's really what I am)...but there are so many self-inserts out there that I had to picture it in my head. And no matter what I tried, I could only see myself with her. I wonder what that says about my character and state of mind…?)

But yeah. I got this really weird idea in my head...lots of people write Axel/Larxene, and there's really no basis for it; he does _not _like her. Roxas is the 'only one he likes.' But we don't know too much about Roxas...and I got this random, wicked hot idea.

In my opinion, Larxene and Roxas are the two most attractive people in Kingdom Hearts. My OTP is AkuRoku, and I don't just write pairings for the sake of writing a very, very hot couple. But what if it were to happen like this...?

I give you, **Thunder Kiss:** my attempt at a believable next-life Roxas/Larxene pairing. Yes, you read that right. Roxie and Larxy. The final pairings are Axel/Roxas and Marluxia/Larxene, but this story revolves around the first pairing, Roxas/Larxene.

I should warn you that as I go, the characters will get slightly...well...out of character. Why? Because they develop throughout the story...and because this time around, they have hearts. Don't worry; I make the changes believable.))

Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts, and I don't want to. Munny can't buy happiness; only Hi-Potions; and I have an army of personal Moogles who synthesize my happiness for me anyway.

**Thunder Kiss**

* * *

Roxas had transferred out of Paopu Academy – Sora's old school – after a particularly nasty fight with Riku, Sora's best friend; in an attempt to distance himself from the stupid guy. He wasn't sorry to go; there was nothing for him there. Kairi and Naminé weren't _his _friends, and Sora spent too much time with Riku.

So he packed up his things and left for Twilight Town on a Gummi ship; and then he saw _her. _The girl with Paopu skin hair and poisonous eyes. She was beautiful.

She was sitting in the window-seat of the Somerset Academy library, tapping a pencil against her lips and glaring daggers at some textbook or another. It took him nearly thirty seconds to get his mind back on track, and he was surprised he landed the librarian job, after his scatterbrained performance.

After shaking hands with the head librarian (a quiet man named Lexaeus Roxas could've _sworn _he'd met before), he hitched his bag higher onto his shoulder and made his way toward the girl in the long black trench coat and boots (so similar to his own he almost laughed). She was obviously the sort to break rules; her uniform skirt was a bit too short, and her tie was untied, hanging down from her neck.

She looked up.

When he met her eyes, he hated her. He somehow knew that he hated her, even though they'd _never_ met (but they most definitely had; déjà vu wasn't supposed to be this heavy, or this focused, or this _vivid). _He was looking for someone, and there was something in her eyes which told him she was in a similar situation.

That didn't keep him from hating her for some injustice he couldn't remember.

She wasn't the one he was looking for; he knew that. _She _knew that. Somehow, he knew she was looking for someone too, someone who wasn't him. He remembered pink hair, and a rich voice; eyes like water and an affinity for flowers. He…had none of those things, and he didn't know _how_ he knew.

But he knew her…and at that point, he'd take what he could get. He didn't remember her hands when they shook in greeting (he only remembered _His _touch, _His body), _but he remembered her presence. He remembered her predilection to sharp objects and lightning. He remembered the pain she'd caused. He remembered his hatred.

"I've met you before."

"Yeah; I don't remember where, though."

"Me either. My name's Larxene, by the way."

"Roxas. I don't know why, but I think we should hang out sometime."

He also didn't know why that slipped out. He didn't _want _to hang out with her.

She paused, and for a moment he thought (with relief) she would refuse. But then, she shrugged and lifted those pretty lips in a wicked smirk. "Of course."

And that was how it started.

+-+

Theirs was not a friendship based on fondness. It was created from a bond of loneliness and familiarity; and somehow, that worked. He didn't like her at all, but he didn't hate her. She was the closest thing he'd ever had to a friend.

Days. Weeks. Months.

He hated her less and less every day.

+-+

She would often stab him with pencils or hairpins or forks when she thought he was being annoying; and he grew to like it. He _liked_ it. He liked it when she hurt him; it proved that he _existed. _He never hurt _himself; _because until he met Larxene, he didn't know how dead he felt. And now, she took care of assuring him in the most beautifully painful way there was.

Halfway between midterms and winter break, they took shelter from a sudden storm (he hated being cold, hated being wet, and hated that he was never warm enough by himself) in Twilight Café. It was a Saturday afternoon, and that meant it was technically Larxene's turn to pay; but Roxas knew he'd end up paying, anyway.

Over the space of three months, he'd gone from absolutely _loathing _her to having _fun _with her; and he sometimes wondered why that wasn't as disturbing to him as it should've been. It was _Larxene; _the beautiful, untouchable, sadistic girl every guy was outwardly terrified of and inwardly infatuated with.

The waitress, a nice brunette with green eyes, petite shoulders, and a black apron gave them a huge smile. "My name's Olette, and I'll be your server. What can I do for you today?"

"You can get us black coffee, grilled avocado sandwiches with sprouts and tomatoes, and whatever soup you're serving today," Larxene responded. They liked the same foods, so they always ordered for each other. It was another small comfort they shared, recently. It had actually always been that way; but it didn't annoy either of them any more.

Olette nodded. "Anything-"

"That's everything. Get to it!"

He supposed he ought to feel sorry for the shaken brunette, but he didn't. She was vaguely familiar, but he didn't _know _her; Larxene was really his only friend. He rarely talked to Sora any more, and he talked to his parents even less. Cloud and Aerith Strife were good parents, but they had never understood him…and that was a good thing. He needed his space. Sora understood him better, but he was three years older than Roxas and had his own life.

"One of these days, you're going to get us banned."

"If you don't like it, find another chick to hang out with."

He smiled. "Aw, honey, you know you're the only girl for me."

And…really, that was true. Larxene wasn't the one he was looking for, and The One wasn't exactly female. She thought it was hilarious, until he reminded her that her One looked like a fruitcake. Then, it wasn't so funny, and he'd usually get stabbed with whatever semi-pointy object she could find.

"Damn straight," she replied with a deceptively innocent smile. She could never _quite _pull it off; her eyes and words were too sharp.

He only snorted at the irony. _Damn straight, indeed. I'm just a fuckin' twilight rainbow._

They sat in comfortable silence for several moments before she said, in a strangely serious tone, "Hey, Roxas?"

He peeled his eyes away from the storm outside and met hers. "What?"

"How long have you been looking?"

He didn't have to ask what she was talking about. "I really don't remember. It feels like I've been waiting my whole life…but I remember one day when I was fifteen; I woke up in the middle of the night and…my heart just _hurt."_

She rolled her eyes. "What would _you _know about hearts, huh? You're dead alive." Then, in a quieter voice, she added, "For that matter…what do _I _know about hearts? Sometimes I wonder..."

He put his hand on hers. "Stop worrying, Larx. We'll find them one day. We just have to keep looking. After school we'll go to every world, if we have to."

The gentleness and sincerity he heard in his own voice startled him greatly; he didn't know he was capable of it. That was the first time he'd really felt compassion for someone else; perhaps because she was going through the same trials as he was, but he had a feeling (ha) there was more to it than that. Maybe it was just that she'd opened up to him?

She shifted her hand to grasp his, and squeezed it once. He knew she was sincere when she said, "You're right. Thanks, Rox."

It was very disconcerting for him to have a conversation like this with Larxene…but he found that he liked it despite the newness of it. He liked being able to sit in silence with someone just for the sake of being silent. He liked being able to speak his mind without someone fussing over him. He liked that she didn't pity him.

So maybe he could forget that he'd hated her. He could forget that for the entire first month of their friendship, she called him a man-thief for a reason neither of them could remember. He could forget that she'd woken him by stabbing him with her compass more than once. He could forget that he was willingly holding her hand over the table.

They never let go of each other's hands until they got up to pay; and after that, they stayed linked until they had to leave for their own dorms. He forgot that he wasn't supposed to like the way her touch felt like electricity, even through their gloves.

+-+

"Are you going out with _Larxene," _Hayner asked. Roxas didn't hate his roommate; he just…envied him. Hayner seemed so _alive _all the time; his temper was short, and his smiles reached his eyes.

Roxas frowned, and paused in the process of changing into his pajamas. He wobbled a bit, and pulled the black sweatpants up quickly so he could put his foot down. "…Why do you ask?"

"You're always together. And Pence told me Olette said you were holding hands in the café."

"We're not dating."

"Then why were you holding hands?"

He rolled his eyes, and put his class uniform into his personal hamper. "It's complicated."

"So _explain! _It's _Larxene. _I _gotta _know the details."

"Why does it matter that it's Larxene? She's my friend."

"Larxene Boltz. Arguably the hottest girl in the _whole school; _and everyone knows she's _totally untouchable. _She's fricken scary, and you're really the only person she talks to."

"Well, we're just friends. Sorry to disappoint," he said, pulling on an extra pair of socks and crawling under the covers. He reached over and switched on his lamp, and picked up his copy of _Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days _by Y.S. Masters. He'd read it several times before; it had seemed very familiar the first time he'd read it. He didn't recognize any of the names, but the story brought on waves of nostalgia.

It was another reminder that he truly did exist.

Hayner hopped into bed as well. "So, your hand-holding is just another way to express _friendship," _he asked incredulously.

"Yep," he said absently, before he opened his book to the first chapter.

"You're lucky," Hayner said. "She's a babe."

"I know."

"And you don't _care?"_

Roxas lowered his book for a moment and looked across the room at Hayner, meeting his eyes seriously. "Larx is more than just her body and her face. She's my friend and she understands me better than even my parents. Dating isn't something we've ever considered; neither of us are really romantic anyway."

That was all that needed to be said. Roxas _knew _she was attractive; and he knew that if they weren't looking for other people, he'd ask her out in a heartbeat. She was alluring and funny and understood him.

But really, they _weren't _romantic people. She sent electric currents through his body, but he craved – _needed –_ a fire she couldn't give him.

+-+

"You going home for the holidays?"

Roxas set down his pencil and textbook. It was history; they were studying the Keyblade Wars, and he'd been fascinated by the subject since he was a kid. He knew all the answers anyway. "I haven't decided. Why?"

Larxene shrugged and looked out the window at the snowflakes dancing under the moonlight. She picked at her cuticles and looked for all the world like she was _nervous. _She _never _got nervous.

"I…well, remember how I'm here on scholarship?"

He frowned, and answered slowly, "Yeah…"

"Well…my parents died over the summer, and…well, I'm lucky I have a scholarship, and…uh, never mind. I just wanted to know. Forget about it."

He blinked. He'd never bothered to ask about her family, and he'd never bothered to tell her about his. He could tell she was lonely; but she'd never say it out loud. He turned his eyes to his textbook once again, finding it infinitely more interesting this time around.

"I'm really not in the mood to see Riku again. I didn't really want to go home anyway."

"Riku sounds like an asshole."

"He is."

He looked up and caught her smile. It was a _smile, _and he felt…pleased, that he'd caused it. He smiled back at her.

"We should make a statue of him and throw knives at it."

"…Huh?"

"Just for kicks," she clarified. "Haven't you ever wanted to throw knives at people? It's illegal, or I'd do it all the time. As a stress reliever. The universe would be a better place if we were allowed to throw knives at stupid people."

He snorted; he knew she wasn't kidding. "I know where he sleeps at night," he said teasingly. "But my brother would probably kill me, and then you wouldn't have a partner any more."

There was silence for a few minutes before she said, "I have a cousin who lives in Radiant Garden, but he's getting married in a few months and he's spending the holidays with his girlfriend in Destiny Islands. He says I can stay at his house while he's gone, in return for making sure nothing gets stolen. You can come too, if you want."

"…I'd like that."

And he meant it.

+-+

Larxene's cousin, Roxas learned, was nearly twenty-two – four and a half years older than Roxas and Larxene – and engaged to _Naminé, _of all people. She was only nineteen; and Kairi, her older sister, was very protective. His name was Demyx and Roxas would've thought his hair (a style Larxene mockingly called a 'hawklet') was ridiculous, if his own hair had been manageable.

Demyx had heard of Roxas; Naminé had described him as a 'quiet boy who seems very lost.' Naminé had always been nicer than most people; if one had asked Larxene, she would've described him as an 'antisocial smart-ass with attitude problems.'

He didn't think she had any room to talk; but it was okay, because that was probably a pretty accurate description.

It was December 18 when Demyx left them to their own devices, and Larxene got it in her head to bake an apple pie, so they could leave a piece for Santa. It was a little silly; Larxene wasn't a good girl, and Roxas wasn't exactly a good boy, so it wasn't like Santa was going to visit _that _house. She probably just wanted pie.

They agreed to go shopping for ingredients once the snow stopped; Larxene dug out Demyx's cookbook, and it turned out they only needed vanilla and flour. Roxas didn't even _want _to know why Demyx had shortening in his cupboards, when he didn't have flour.

The walk to the marketplace wasn't long at all; and after pulling on thermals, jackets, gloves, boots, hats, and multiple scarves, they were ready to go. They looked like fat piles of clothing, but at least they wouldn't freeze.

The woman at the register was a middle-aged, _very _nosey woman. "You two look so sweet," she said as she rang up their items. "You must be baking for Christmas. Young romance is a beautiful thing…"

Roxas shot an incredulous look at Larxene, who wasn't looking at him. _Young romance? _He wondered why people thought that. Since Hayner had brought it up, more classmates had been speculating. But they had _never_ been more than friends.

Larxene looked away and didn't say anything to the woman. She was usually the one who sent scathing remarks to anyone who made mistakes, and…he wasn't sure how to deal with it. He figured she was just in a funk because of her parents. Well…her sudden _lack _of parents. It was the first holiday since they'd died.

He paid twelve munny for the items and carried the bag all the way back to the house. He snuck sideways glances at her whenever he could; she seemed preoccupied. She was frowning slightly, but not out of irritation; she just looked confused. He didn't like to see her confused. Larxene was always so strong and confident and decisive. She was bitchy and a little on the sadistic side, but at the moment…she looked like she felt as quiet as he did. She was his best friend, and it hurt a bit to see her eyes sparkle like she was trying not to cry.

It was just the cold. It _had _to be. But…still.

It hurt.

She unlocked the front door and hung her coat up without saying a word, and he felt even worse. Had he said or done something to hurt her? It wasn't a nice thought. He wasn't sure when he'd actively started worrying about her emotional state, but it was too late now to stop it.

He hung his coat on an empty peg and kicked off his boots without putting the groceries down. When Larxene led the way into the kitchen, he followed and wondered if something big was going on. He wondered if he should ask her what was wrong.

He set the groceries on the island and washed his hands, before taking a knife off of the rack and setting it on the counter in front of Larxene. "Do you want to cut the apples? I'll make the crust. It'll go faster that way."

She shrugged. "You can do it after we change out of our wet clothes. I have to shower; we can work on the crust together when I get out. I'll only be a few minutes."

He nodded, stunned. Larxene _never _refused the chance to use pointy objects; it was just part of her personality. _She_ was sharp. "O-okay."

She smirked. "Don't get used to it, punk. This is a one-time deal."

Roxas rolled his eyes and ignored the sensation in his gut that told him she was just acting. He'd ask her about it later, when she was…feeling better, or whatever. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say."

She grabbed his hand, and he felt the familiar electric currents run up his arms and through his body. "C'mon; the sooner we get out of our wet clothes, the sooner we can start on the pie."

He allowed himself to be pulled to the guest room, where their bags were. Larxene still looked sad, for some reason. She fished her pajamas out of her bag and walked out of the room. "I'll just be a few minutes," she said over her shoulder.

Roxas dug his own pajamas out of his bag and pulled off his shirt, folding it before shucking off his pants and thermals before changing into new ones. He pulled his black sweatshirt over his head and pulled on a clean pair of socks, sighing at the warmth.

He worried about Larxene while he wandered into the kitchen.

He worried about Larxene while he washed the apples.

He worried about Larxene while he peeled the apples.

He worried about Larxene while he cut the apples.

He worried about his state of mind, when he realized how worried he was. Larx would laugh her ass off, if she knew.

The shower stopped, and Roxas continued cutting apples. He knew Larxene wasn't the kind of girl to take a million years in the bathroom; he could practically _see _her routine. She'd step out of the shower, shiver (because it was _freezing), _dry off as fast as possible, and step into the warm, warm clothes she'd picked out. For some reason, picturing that made him irrationally embarrassed, so he _moved right along._

She'd run a comb through her hair and wrap her head in the towel, before exiting the bathroom and coming into the kitchen – most likely to steal the apple knife away. He'd let her have it, of course. There were _so many_ apples required for the pie; he was getting sick of cutting anyway.

The bathroom door opened, but Larxene didn't enter the kitchen. She'd probably taken a detour to the bedroom to drop off her clothes. Roxas listened for footsteps, but he didn't hear anything; was she okay?

"I started a fire in the living room," a voice said behind him, and his hand jerked. He felt a sharp pain and his forefinger immediately began to bleed.

"Oh, shit…Larx, you _startled _me."

She was standing next to him now; his finger _really hurt. _It wasn't a very deep cut; he probably wouldn't even need a bandage for it, after he cleaned it; but he wouldn't be cutting any more apples until the bleeding stopped.

She took his hand in both of hers and inspected the slash; her eyebrows were furrowed in concern. But after a moment, she shook her head. "It's nothing to worry about."

And then – as if on impulse – she raised his finger to her mouth and sucked on it. Her tongue swirled around the cut, and he could feel the blood leaving his finger. Roxas closed his eyes and tried not to think about why he _liked _that so much. She…_oh, god._

"Larxene," he said in warning. Well…it was supposed to be a warning, but it sounded more like pleading.

He could feel her grin, and she gave back his hand. "See? It's stopped bleeding."

It _had_ stopped, but…_that wasn't the point. _He wondered if she knew just how attractive she really was, and if she knew what that made him feel. He had half a mind to cut open another finger, just so she'd do it again…

He steadied his breathing and opened his eyes. "You shouldn't do that."

She averted her eyes and quietly asked, "Why not?"

"Because…god, that was…you have no idea what you make me-"

She cut off his sentence by pressing her lips to his.

He'd always wondered how it would be to kiss someone, but he hadn't expected _this. _Her lips tasted like blood and lightning; metallic and electric and heady. She didn't wait for him to respond; instead, she shoved her tongue through and past his lips, and it didn't take long for him to pull her against him and fight back.

He shuddered when she bit down on his lower lip, breaking the skin and making it bleed; the taste of his own blood was sharper now, and the sensation was the complete _opposite _of bad. It was infinitely better than good.

Her fingers tangled in his hair and his scalp tingled.

He pushed her tongue away with his, and shifted so he wasn't pressed against the edge of the island. The _last _thing he wanted was a knife in his back. He slid his left hand into her hair and she gasped and broke their…kiss. It suddenly hit him that they'd _kissed. _Larxene had _kissed _him. He'd kissed _Larxene._

…And he'd liked it.

"We…the pie," he said weakly.

"The oven's not on," she replied, sounding like he felt.

"No, it's not," he agreed, wondering where they were going with this and how long it would take to _get _there. Wherever _there _was.

"I started a fire in the living room." He remembered; that was the line that had started this whole thing. "We should go in there and warm up; it's freezing in here."

He knew they probably weren't just going to sit on the couch in front of the fire, but he didn't mind."That…sounds great," he murmured, and she pulled him by the hand into the living room without giving him a chance to cover the apples.

They sat on the couch under four blankets; he sat next to the armrest, turned slightly inward, legs drawn up so as to keep them off the floor. Larxene curled up next to him and rested her cheek against his chest, as if she were listening to his heartbeat.

Absently, he ran his fingers through her hair, and his fingers tingled again.

It was a little strange to just sit and _cuddle, _like a real, live couple. It wasn't _like _that between them. He didn't want to date her but he didn't only want the _physical _aspects of a 'relationship.' She was his _friend. _He wanted to kiss her; he wanted to touch her; he wanted her to _bit__e__ him again._ But Larxene wasn't the person he was waiting for; dating was a stupid thought.

She sighed and rubbed her cheek against his chest. "I didn't ever want to do that," she said quietly. "I'm waiting for _him."_

"I know," he replied. "I'm waiting for someone else too, remember? I didn't think this would ever happen. But I still want to do it again."

"Me too."

Suddenly, the cuddling thing didn't seem so bad. His body was calming down a bit, and he found that smoothing her hair was very soothing for them both. The sparks were pleasantly familiar.

"So…you won't care that I'm going to do that a lot from now on," she asked. But it wasn't a question; it was a statement.

Roxas smirked. "That's right. Taste the rainbow, Larx."

He liked having someone there. He liked running his fingers through someone's hair. He liked curling up in front of the fire with someone pressed against his side, listening to his heart.

He liked that it was _Larxene._

+-+

For Christmas, Roxas had bought kunai for Larxene. He'd thought it funny, and strangely appropriate.

For Christmas, Larxene had bought two charms for Roxas. They were miniature keys; one was black and red and spiky, and the other was black and white. _Two Across and Bond of Flame, _his mind whispered, for no reason at all.

He vowed to find a cord and wear them always; he just wouldn't tell Larxene. She'd probably just laugh at him…or maybe even stab him for being 'too sweet.'

For Christmas, Roxas gave and received bloody thunder kisses; and in a way, that was even better than the charms.

+-+

When the holidays were over, Hayner asked again if Roxas was dating Larxene.

His answer was still no, but Hayner (predictably) didn't understand. Hayner wasn't _stupid; _far from it, actually. He was a slacker and a hothead, but he was fairly intelligent. Still, he wouldn't understand the dynamic between Roxas and Larxene; they weren't looking for love. They weren't even looking for _romance._

"So…if you're not dating, then why did I see you kissing," Hayner asked, as if he'd just caught Roxas in something.

"You don't have to be dating to kiss someone," Roxas replied easily. "Besides; I've told you before. It's _complicated. _And don't ask me to explain it; I can't. That's why it's so complicated."

+-+

In February, Roxas learned that Larxene wasn't the only sought-after person at Somerset Academy.

"Brittany and Aurora cornered me this morning and bitched me out about 'using you,'" she confided laughingly. "They seem to think that I'm forcing you to spend time with me. They're just _jealous."_

"…Really? I wonder why," he responded, running his fingers through her hair. They were in the library, studying; there were huge armchairs in the back by the windows, and they'd curled up together in one of them to read history together. Her skirt was longer, but she still refused to tie her tie and take her coat off.

He didn't give his up, either. It was comforting to them both.

"Me too. But, you know, you're…really popular among the girls. They're crazy about you, for some reason."

"I think they're just crazy," he said flatly. "And they're wasting their time. Hayner and several other guys in my dorm have said the same about you, too. I bet they just want what they can't have."

She smirked. "Who says they can't have me?"

"You do."

She sighed and put her ear against his chest. "At any rate, Roxas, I'm glad _you _understand."

+-+

"Remember; you're my girlfriend this summer," Roxas reminded before they stepped out of the Gummi ship.

"I still don't get it. Why do we have to pretend?"

He sighed and maneuvered through the crowded Gummi dock, never letting go of Larxene's hand. She'd never been anywhere except Twilight Town and Radiant Garden. "Just trust me; it's much easier this way. They'll ask a few questions, but for the most part, they'll leave us alone. If we say we're just friends…they'll ask lots of questions, and Sora will tease us _all summer."_

Her grin turned feral. "I like to see you squirm."

Roxas shrugged carelessly and pointed out his family as they came into view. "I was just trying to make it easier on _you. _I know how to deal with my family; and they won't be dissuaded by stabby things."

She returned the shrug and laced their fingers together properly. "Eh, it's okay. I'll be your girlfriend this summer; I can't kiss you if we're just _friends."_

+-+

His parents had left to Radiant Garden for the week; they had agreed to help Demyx move his things to Destiny Islands. Sora was staying with Riku; so Roxas and Larxene had the house to themselves…

"Got any sixes?"

"Go fish."

…And they were bored. The swamp cooler poured chilled air down and around them, and they were using little stones to hold their cards down. Each had a glass of overly-sweet raspberry juice beside them on the floor.

"I always wondered what island life was like," she said, taking a card from the pile. "I never realized how boring it really is."

"For people like my brother and his friends, this is like paradise. They always find 'fun' things to do; but we're not like them. I can only tolerate grocery shopping at three in the morning, and Sora refuses to go after eight. Kairi likes going on those mercy trips; I can't picture you in a situation like that. We're just a different breed, I guess. Got any queens?"

"Go fish. I think I'd go insane if I had to do charity work. I just can't bring myself to care about anyone who's not me...or you. Eights?"

He tossed a card at her. "I never really thought about that," he said quietly. "Jacks?"

She slid two cards over to him. "Thought about what? Queens?"

He sighed and handed her three cards. "Just...you know. People I care for. I never really bothered to think about who's on that list. Twos?"

"Go fish. I'd better be on that list, by the way. Have any aces?"

"Nope. Go fish. And yeah...you are. You're one of three people I'd save if they were dying...and one of two I'd be sad to lose."

She looked at him for several moments. He looked back, trying to convey his sincerity without being a total sap. Finally, she asked, "Really?"

"Don't make me say it again," he groaned. "What's gotten into you? Where's the hardass I know and love, huh?"

"You...love me? Even though...?" She waved her cards in a small circle.

"I should think that would be obvious," he replied quietly, averting his eyes. "You're not Him, but...you're you. You don't have to be my One for me to love you." He cleared his throat uncomfortably as he realized just how intimate the situation had become. "Uh...kings?"

She rolled her eyes and set her cards to the side. "C'mere, you stupid moron," she laughed, and jerked him bodily forward by his collar. Before their lips met, she whispered, "I love you too."

When they got back to their game a moment later, she handed him two kings and he completed his book.

+-+

When it was time to go back to Twilight Town, Roxas found that he didn't want to go. He didn't particularly like Destiny Islands, but with Larxene there, he found that he didn't mind it so much. He didn't want to leave behind lazy days playing cards under the swamp cooler or the too-sweet raspberry juice they'd both gotten hooked on. He didn't want to leave behind the chance to be close to Larxene whenever he wanted; to touch her whenever he wanted; to bleed whenever she wanted.

It was different between them now; before, there had been an unspoken agreement between them. They weren't committed to each other; when they found the ones they were looking for, the physical aspect of their relationship was over.

But now...he didn't mind so much. He was still searching, but he found that he didn't mind the teasing he got from Sora about his 'girlfriend.' He didn't mind that instead of the hard, sharp, violent friendship they used to share had turned into something softer.

He didn't mind the realization that he did indeed love her.

Now...that wasn't to say that their relationship wasn't violent any more. That was Larxene, and honestly, it was one of the reasons he loved her. He didn't think he could handle a Larxene who acted like Naminé, and he'd rather die than act like Demyx.

But sometimes, they would sit together quietly. He'd run his fingers through her hair, and she'd listen to his heartbeat. It was their own brand of sweetness and intimacy, and it felt just as nice as the kind Demyx and Naminé showed.

So he _didn't _want to go back to Somerset Academy. But it was their senior year now; and after they graduated, they would travel the worlds together, looking for their Ones.

He didn't have to wonder why that made him a little sad.

+-+

By October, it was an established 'fact' that Roxas and Larxene were 'together.' They were the most gossiped-about subject in the entire school; apparently, they were the 'hottest couple.'

Of course...depending on who you talked to, it was also 'fact' that they were engaged, using each other, and/or screwing each other as much as possible. It would've been irritating, had it not been so hilarious.

"I heard Larxene was going to break up with him," a blonde junior whispered to her friend conspiratorially. She leaned over her textbook and clasped her hands on the library table. "How could she do that to him? He's just so...adorable. Why did he pick her, of all people? She doesn't deserve a nice guy like that...she's such a bitch."

Roxas bit down on his tongue to keep himself from jumping out from behind the bookshelf and defending Larxene. She could take care of herself; and really, the comment was true. She was the bitchiest bitch he knew...but he liked that about her. And they obviously didn't know anything about him, if they thought he was a nice guy. He could be just as violent as Larxene...he just didn't bother, unless something managed to get under his skin and piss him off.

"Well, maybe he _likes_ bitchy girls," the other blonde said reasonably. "I think they're sweet together. They're obviously crazy about each other; they're not going to break up. That's just a rumor."

"You just think it's sweet because you have Phillip Prince. You're lucky, Aurora...I don't think Roxas will ever look twice at me."

"Don't give up," Aurora said gently, touching the other girl's arm. "You'll find your true love...and you'll be just as happy as I am. Just as happy as _they_ are."

He frowned and pulled a random book from the shelf. A quick glance at the cover told him it was a book of Disney tales; Beauty and the Beast, Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, and others. True love? Larx wasn't his True Love. Not like Aurora was talking about.

...He just hadn't met his One yet.

Roxas checked out the book of princess tales and sat through Hayner's taunts about his sexuality.

"I mean...can you get any gayer than that?"

Roxas sighed. "Hayner..."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up. If you're so concerned about my sexuality, then perhaps you should examine your motives. And while you're at it, stop giving those looks to Seifer. You really can't afford to question my sexuality right now."

For once, Hayner was rendered entirely speechless, and Roxas got to read his book in peace.

"_Taste the rainbow, Larx."_

He couldn't help but smile.

+-+

"We should go to the Halloween Ball," he proposed before he realized he was speaking. They were eating lunch on the roof; she'd unexpectedly made him a sandwich before classes, so they didn't have to buy food from the canteen.

Larxene raised an eyebrow. "Uh...are you okay?"

"Of course I am," he snapped, slightly embarrassed. "Why would you ask that?"

"You're just an antisocial twerp. I never expected you to volunteer for something having to do with a large group of people."

He looked at the clouds instead of his companion. "Well...I just did. What do you say?"

She punched him on the shoulder. It was softer than normal. "I say it's a great idea. Now...how bad should we scare them?"

+-+

Their costumes matched. Roxas and Larxene had made them together; they were long, black cloaks with silver chains attached to the hoods. Their faces were shadowed, and if the light hit them just right, their eyes would glow. It wasn't particularly frightening, but they felt more comfortable in these cloaks than in anything else.

They danced together like they did it every day; waltzes and slightly choppy, four-step sweeps around the room. Roxas didn't remember learning to dance, but he felt like he'd done it once...or maybe it had just been a dream he couldn't remember. He didn't remember actually dancing, but he remembered the movement.

(Upon further reflection, he knew it must've been a dream; he'd never danced with Kairi, the girl from the 'memory.')

"I know Naminé," she informed him during a slow waltz. "I didn't realize it before. I mean...I don't know her, but I remember her better than I remembered you. I remember hating her, because my person spent more time with her than with me. I flirted with someone else, to get him to look at me again...I think. I kinda remember having a thing for the other guy…but maybe I'm just thinking about what I'd do now, if _you_ started ignoring me. I wouldn't know who to flirt with, though, since you're the only one who's worth it here."

He blinked, and faltered in his steps. Uh...huh?"

She smirked and dug her fingernails into his shoulder, making him wince. "You're mine for now, you know. If you ignored me for Brittany, there would be blood." She giggled. "Lots and lots of blood."

He leaned forward and breathed in her ear, "Some of mine, I hope...?"

She shivered, and he felt...very glad that it was because of him.

+-+

"Happy birthday," he said, handing her a small box. It wasn't wrapped; he'd never understood why gifts were wrapped, since the paper would just be ripped off anyway. He'd done some digging and found out when her birthday was; it was slightly amusing to see that it was Halloween. It seemed strangely fitting, for her.

She opened the box and let out a shocked gasp. "Roxas...this is..."

He'd spent nearly two hundred munny on her present, but it was worth everything he'd paid. It was a band, made out of twisting silver vines and coming together into the shape of a flower at the top. In the middle of the 'petals' rested a small pink Serenity Crystal; the color of her One's flowers. It was the crystal that had made the ring so expensive; they were hard to find nowadays, and the Accessories shop had charged a lot for the set.

He grinned at her, before he realized that she had tears in her eyes. "Uh...Larx? Are you...all right?"

She nodded and wiped her eyes. "I'm just allergic to...squash. And pumpkins are squash."

He shook his head, but he didn't call her on the obvious lie. "Well...we should get out of here," he suggested. "I'm sick of dancing, so I don't want to go back into the hall. And once we leave, your...allergies will go away, right?"

"Y-yeah. Let's go to the library."

As they walked away, he couldn't resist any more. "You're beautiful when you cry," he informed with a teasing chuckle.

She punched him in the shoulder, hard. "You wanted to make me lose it," she muttered. "Asshole."

"No...I just wanted to make you happy," he corrected.

And it was true; she was beautiful when she cried. The starlight reflected off her watery eyes, and he thought (for just a moment) he could see the universe.

+-+

Twilight Town had only one cinema; it was a small, slightly run-down building located in Tram Commons. The people of Twilight Town mostly didn't care much for movies; it was far more common to see a ballet or a concert in the local amphitheater.

But for his birthday on November 29, Larxene took him to see the newest movie. Kingdom Hearts: 358/2 Days had finally been released, and he couldn't wait to see it. The makers of the Kingdom Hearts movies had done a great job with the others; though some parts just felt _wrong._ He supposed it was just him being crazy, as per usual; it wasn't like _he'd _been there during the time of the Nobodies and the Keyblade Heroes.

"Thanks, Larxene," he said, as they made their ways into a row near the back of the room. "I wouldn't have thought to do this."

"That's because you're an idiot," she informed. "And you're welcome."

They sat through the previews, laughing at the super-sappy romantic ones and making a note to see "The Nightmare Before Christmas" when it came out on Christmas day. Larxene punched his shoulder when he told her she was scary enough belong in that movie.

Then, the movie started and they turned their attention to the screen. They shared a tub of popcorn and he felt her ring brush his right hand every so often when they went for the popcorn at the same time. He felt irrationally jealous, knowing that even though it was his ring she was wearing, she didn't wear it just because he gave it to her.

Once the popcorn was gone, she laid her head on his shoulder and laced their fingers together. The cool metal slid against his hand, reminding him once again that she wasn't really his.

But he had given her the ring, and he wasn't really hers either.

+-+

"Xaros reminds me of you," she said, grinning at him. "Except...that Lexa chick would have to be a guy. "I think it's pretty hilarious that Lexa totally dwarfed him."

"What makes you draw parallels between me and Xaros? We're...not that alike."

"Are you kidding me?" She laughed mockingly and led him into Twilight Cafe. "If I didn't know better, I'd say they stole your personality. You're always such a killjoy. And you've got a thing for tall redheads."

He felt his face grow hot. "That describes a lot of people," he muttered, looking away. "Besides; I'm not like him at all."

But he was. He knew he was just like Xaros; his face was usually drawn into a pensive frown, and he thought about things much oftener than he said them. More than anything, he wondered where his feelings came from and why he could feel at all. He knew what had happened in Kingdom Hearts II, but every time he read (and watched, now) the story he couldn't help hoping that Xaros would realize that he somehow loved Lexa, even though they couldn't technically feel; and stay with her forever.

"You're just in de-ni-al," she sang. "Table for two."

"Right this way," Olette said, smiling at them. Larxene still antagonized her every time they came to the cafe, but at least Olette was used to it now.

Larxene untangled their fingers and sat across from him. "Are you ever gonna be normal," she asked.

He blinked. "...Normal?"

"Yeah...like the kind of guy who talks to his buddies about random shit and looks at porn and plays Blitzball."

He raised an eyebrow. "Larx? What are you smoking, and why aren't you sharing?"

She smiled a small, genuine smile. "Good. I'd hate you forever if you turned into one of them."

He rolled his eyes. "What's gotten into you lately? I mean...you've changed. A lot. You don't even stab me with your pencil every five minutes any more."

She shrugged and looked away. "Maybe we're just growing up. What, do you like to get stabbed with pencils? Do you miss it?"

Did he? Yes, he liked it. It was part of what made Larxene, and - aside from making him feel alive - it was familiar. If he was truly honest with himself, he could admit that he liked it when she hurt him. He wasn't a masochist; if anyone else tried to hurt him the way she did, he'd hang them out to dry. It was just...

Larxene.

"Yeah...I guess I do miss it. I like the way you make me feel."

He supposed that to an outsider, this conversation would seem odd and more than a little disturbing. Hayner would probably call him a girl. But he didn't have a problem talking with Larxene about stuff like this. It was just part of their relationship.

She looked blown away. "You...like it?"

"Larx," he said flatly. "I like _you."_

+-+

Larxene handed him a box, like the one he had given her nearly a month prior. "Happy birthday," she sang, as if entertaining a small child.

He opened the box and nearly burst into tears, at the strange feeling that welled up in his chest. She had given him a ring of his own; somehow, she'd gotten hold of a Blazing Crystal, and got the Accessories Shop to fasten it onto a plain silver band. Blazing Crystals were smaller than Serenity Crystals, and it fit perfectly on his finger.

He now understood what she had gone through; her Serenity Crystal reminded her of her One. The Blazing Crystal reminded him of _his._

"Larxene, this...thank you."

She gave him a smile. He was the only one she smiled for. "It's fire. It's a reminder of our promise."

He threw his arms around her and pulled her close, burying his face in her hair. "I intend to keep that promise. We'll find your fruitcake, okay?"

She was silent for a moment before she said, "Okay...good. I'll help you find your big ugly man-Lexa."

She didn't sound as enthusiastic about it as before, and he wondered if maybe she was struggling like he was. "Just tell me when, and we'll go."

She returned his embrace, and they stood that way for several minutes. It was dark, and the lamps didn't shine on Sunset Hill. It was their usual spot; they'd sit on the rise of ground by the hedges; since both preferred darkness. On weekends, they stayed out till early morning, since curfew didn't apply.

"I love you," she said, completely out of the blue. "You know that, right?"

"Yeah...I know."

If he was perfectly honest with himself, he could admit that sometimes, he hoped they wouldn't find their Ones. He wanted _so badly_ to find the man with red hair and green eyes. He wanted to see that face he couldn't remember. He wanted to feel fire running through his body, making him almost unbearably hot - and feel those burning fingers on his skin. Missing those things – missing that man – made him physically sick sometimes, because it hurt so much.

But he wanted Larxene's electricity too. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair, and he didn't want to lose her thunder kisses. He wanted her to listen to his heartbeat, and he wanted to hold her like he was doing at that moment.

"Whenever you want," he repeated. He wanted to make her happy, too. More than anything, he wanted to make her happy. He'd never before felt so unselfish...and even though it was uncomfortable and dangerous, he knew what it was.

"I love you too, Larx. A lot."

+-+

Christmas morning found them curled up on the sofa in the commons area by Roxas' dorm room. They'd fallen asleep by the fireplace, apparently; he didn't remember falling asleep, and he had an awful kink in his neck.

He yawned and looked to his right; she was pressed against his side with her head resting on his chest. In sleep, she looked peaceful and almost...vulnerable. He caught himself smiling like an idiot.

Roxas ran a hand through her hair, careful to avoid any knots for fear of waking her up. A glance at the clock above the fireplace showed that it was just after six in the morning.

Larxene mumbled something incoherent in her sleep, and nuzzled closer. He gently lifter her arm off him and moved away, laying her head on the armrest he'd previously been pressed against; he needed to shower and get ready for the day. Before he left to his room for clothes and soap, he smoothed her bangs off her forehead (as soon as she showered, they'd be as unruly as ever) and kissed her brow.

His touch was obviously not light enough; she stretched and her eyes fluttered open. "Roxas?"

He straightened and shook his head. "I'm just going for a shower. I'll be back in a few minutes."

Her eyes opened a bit more, and she pushed herself up slightly. "How about I join you?"

He started. "...What?"

She stretched like a cat, and pushed herself up fully. "You heard me."

Despite their frequent kisses and spontaneous teasing gropes, they hadn't done much in the way of sexual activities. It had occurred to him, obviously; he was a teenage boy, after all. But he'd never acted on his impulses.

He stared at her for a moment.

"What is it? Do you not want me, Roxas?"

Her eyes were wide, and she looked for all the world like she was lost, or hurt, or sad...or something not-so-good.

"Of course I do," he said hoarsely, swallowing. "I just didn't think _you_ wanted it."

She laughed - it was one of her high-pitched giggles, the ones that made weaker men cower in fear. Roxas rather liked that laugh.

"You're so cute," she said mockingly. "Looking after me like I'm some sort of china doll!"

"Well...I just...uh..."

"Roxas, Roxas, Roxas. Always such a prude."

"Hey!"

"You're probably right," she sighed. "We're in school. You know how bad it would be if we got caught?"

He nodded.

"You shouldn't think so much from now on," she informed. "It's bad for your libido."

...Really, what was he supposed to _say_ to that?

+-+

"I didn't know what to give you," Roxas confessed after they got back from the movie. They had made good on their promise to see "The Nightmare Before Christmas," and now they were back on the couch in the commons area. He had drawn a blank when searching for a good Christmas present...and he hoped Larxene wouldn't scoff at his choice.

"Well, I knew exactly what to get you," she replied matter-of-factly.

"That doesn't exactly make me feel better."

She snorted. "It wasn't supposed to. I was just letting you know that I am still superior to you in every way."

"Yeah, yeah," he replied carelessly, waving his left hand. The Blazing Crystal caught the light, and for a moment it seemed as if his finger caught fire. "Just keep telling yourself that."

"Oh, I will. Now...here's what I got you."

Larxene handed him a box almost identical to the one he handed her. He opened it and laughed, loud and long.

She had bought him a shirt - a horrible, awful green thing with a picture on the front. The boy's hair stood on end; and above, bright yellow words told the world that the wearer of the shirt stuck his tongue in electric sockets.

He didn't feel so bad about his gift after all. He'd bought her a bright pink shirt with a girl on the front, lying on an arch made of several different colors. Just below the arch, it told viewers to taste the rainbow.

She laughed. "Have I ever told you how incredibly awesome you are?"

He shook his head. "Nope. This is a first."

"Well, this is the only time I'm gonna say it, so you'd better commit it to memory."

He felt something tearing at his heart at her comment, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out what it was. He swallowed harshly, tasting something horrible when he answered, "I've got it memorized."

+-+

Larxene was beautiful. There were a lot of negative words one could use to describe her, but ugly would never be one of them. Roxas caught himself thinking about her more and more often, and he almost felt like he was...cheating. On who, he wasn't sure; he couldn't decide whether he was cheating on his One with Larxene, or being unfaithful to Larxene by thinking of his One so often.

It was all very confusing. Before he'd met her, he had been completely closed off to everyone; he'd thought that no one would be able to understand his need to search out a man he'd never met, just to find out what he really looked like; to apologize for something he'd done but couldn't remember; to memorize (oh, god...) every inch of his body. The man was incredibly tall, with red hair and green eyes...but that was all Roxas knew. He didn't know the face; he didn't know the name; he didn't know anything about the lips, except how they felt on his.

And somehow, he'd found understanding in a girl who hated the entire world. He'd found companionship in a sadistic bitch, who would throw knives at people for sport if it were legal. He'd found...love. And sometimes, he hated it. He didn't hate _her _any more, but sometimes he really did.

He hated that Larxene was beautiful. He hated that Larxene understood him. He hated that Larxene was searching, just as he was; sometimes, he just wanted Larxene to be his. He wanted to belong to her.

He _hated _it.

He was sure they'd find the people they were looking for someday...and sometimes, he hated that too.

+-+

As school started again, Roxas was hit with a strange feeling. He would hear things about Larxene - mean things, or vulgar things - and he would become irrationally angry. He was a naturally cantankerous person, but it took a lot to really make him angry...and for some reason, hearing those things did the job.

"I don't get it," Rai confided, stroking the back of his girlfriend's hand absently. Fuu and Rai were studying together in the library, and hadn't yet noticed Roxas.

"She's so crazy, y'know? Totally insane. And I've seen the way he looks after a date. Beat up, y'know? I mean, she's hot and all, but I wouldn't wanna go out with her."

"Dangerous," Fuu agreed.

Roxas cleared his throat and stepped out from behind the bookshelf - he noticed with some inappropriate amusement that it was the one he'd gotten the book of princess stories from.

"Evening," he said quietly. "Seems like you two are just cozy. It's admirable; you seem very studious." He paused, and then added, "I'd just prefer it if you'd study for school. My and Larx's relationship isn't something you'll be tested on."

Rai blinked. "You're weird, y'know?"

Roxas leaned forward and put his hand on the table. "I don't care what you think or say about me. Just shut up about Larxene. I don't have a problem with physically fucking you up."

He straightened immediately and turned on his heel. As he left the area, he heard Rai say, "Totally crazy, y'know?"

"Insane," Fuu agreed.

+-+

"So," Larxene said, drawing out the word in a sing-song tone and smirking. "I heard you bitched out Rai and Fuu in the library the other day."

Roxas shrugged and looked at the clouds through the window of the empty art classroom they'd taken over during their free block. "Yeah. They were asking for it."

"Why'd you do it?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Do I really need a reason?"

"You're not the kind of person who will give warning before you attack," she said flatly, throwing at him a bit of dried clay she'd scraped off a desk.

"Well, if you must know," he explained in a very put-upon manner, "they were saying horrible things. It was annoying, and I gave them a warning so they would stop talking. You know I prefer to avoid fights; I tend to hurt people more than I mean to, and I don't want to get expelled. Or arrested, for that matter."

She giggled - a truly frightening sound he found rather endearing - and asked, "What were they saying?"

For some strange reason, Roxas didn't want to say. He was almost...embarrassed to have done something like 'defend Larxene.' She was a big girl, and besides...she would most like rant at him for being so sappy.

"Just stupid stuff," he answered noncommittally. The pencil on the floor seemed awfully interesting all of a sudden. "It doesn't matter any more."

"You're so full of shit," she remarked.

"Probably."

Larxene sat on the arm of the chair, facing him, and frowned lightly. "Seriously...what's wrong? You're acting retarded lately."

He sighed and leaned his head against the back of the chair, not bothering to hold his book on his lap. It hit the floor with a loud thump.

"Nothing's wrong. I just didn't feel like fighting with them; Fuu's no pushover, and Rai is like a sentient brick wall. I'd likely break my hand before I broke his nose."

"Then you should let me take care of them, you pussy. I won't go easy on anyone; you know that. And you shouldn't go easy either."

"I just..." Roxas sighed again. "Forget it."

She rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Retard."

There was a moment of silence before he said, "If I ask you a question, promise not to freak out? It's just something that crossed my mind, and...I need some closure, maybe. I don't know."

"Of course I don't promise, dumbass. Where's the fun in that?"

He rolled his eyes. "I was just thinking about..." He hesitated before continuing. "...About us. I know you're searching too...and we both want it so bad. But...what are we gonna do if we..." He swallowed. "What will we do if we never find them? I don't want to..."

Lose you. I don't want this to end. Would you marry me someday, if we knew we'd never find them?

He didn't say any of that out loud; he didn't have the words.

Larxene was deathly quiet for a long while. Her breathing was heavy, and her eyes were devoid of any life. Finally, she asked, "How could you say something like that? Even if it ended up being true...why are you even thinking it?"

Roxas could tell from her tone - defeated, tired, nervous - that she'd been plagued by the same worries, and he was selfishly glad he wasn't alone.

"I told you; it just crossed my mind. I just wanted to know...so I don't feel crazy any more," he replied. "Larx, you've changed me, in more ways than I can count. You brought me back to life. I really hope I helped you as much as you helped me. And I was just worried...I mean, if we never found them, would you..." He swallowed again and looked away. The January snow swirled under the streetlamps, dancing flurries that for some reason made his heart clench even more than it already was.

Finally, she laughed. It wasn't a sadistic giggle, or even one of those rare happy laughs meant only for him. It sounded sad. "I don't think I could just leave you, even if I wanted to. You're not Him, that's true...but I don't wear this ring just because it reminds me of him."

It was the only answer he would get out of her. It was vague and it hurt to hear the tone of her voice. But it reassured him anyway.

"Now," she said, abruptly changing the subject, "when were you going to tell me that you bitched Rai out because he was trash-talking me?"

He groaned.

+-+

By May, Roxas' worries had pushed him to breaking point. He wasn't worried about school; he'd always been a bright kid, and most of the time he spent with Larxene in the library was used for studying. But they were leaving school, and they were going to start their search. He wanted to find his One (how many times would he dream about those eyes, that husking voice, those deliciously calloused fingers?). He wanted it so bad it physically hurt.

But he didn't want to lose Larxene, either. If the redheaded man was his One, then Larxene was his Two.

When it was finally time to graduate, Roxas' heart warred between beating like hummingbirds' wings and stopping completely in his chest.

"Boltz, Larxene!"

She was sitting two rows ahead of him. As she walked to the stage, he noticed the slight furrow of her brow. She was worried about something.

"Brier, Aurora!"

He retreated into his own mind, contemplating his next move. How was he going to tell his family that hey, he was running away with Larxene - no, they weren't getting married, no, she wasn't pregnant, and no, they weren't in any trouble. Where would they go? How would they pay for everything? The savings from his former job at the library could only pay for so much, and Larxene's job at the local museum didn't exactly pay very much.

"Strife, Roxas!"

He followed the path up to the stage and accepted the paper from the supervisor. What was so special about a piece of paper, anyway? You couldn't pay for a Gummi ticket with a piece of paper.

After the last name was called (Vidervall, Brittany), Roxas was nearly barreled over by Larxene. He didn't have a chance to ask what was up before her lips were on his and her fingers were threading in his hair. He gasped and shuddered when he felt her teeth clamp down on his lower lip (and here again, thunder mixed with blood and he wanted more, more, more).

He decided to ignore the fact that they were still in the middle of a crowded auditorium, and gripped her shoulder and lower back. Her nails dug sharply into his scalp and he felt a jolt run through his body like nothing he'd felt before.

In an effort to restrain his suddenly _over_active sex drive, he broke their kiss and gasped, "Library! I need to-"

"Do it in the morning," she hissed, digging her nails in harder. "Come with me tonight."

He could only nod, before he was being pulled - out of the auditorium, out of the school, and to Sunset Hill.

The moment they stopped moving, Larxene captured his lips again. He could taste her lemon toothpaste, now that the taste of blood wasn't so strong. Her hands were firm against his stomach, and he'd instinctively dug his fingers into her hips to keep her close to him. He didn't know what had brought this on, but he wasn't going to complain.

She drew back slightly, and he took that opportunity to move his lips from her mouth to her neck. He rarely took charge; but he remembered (or maybe not) that he used to be in control with the redheaded man. For once, he wanted to keep Larxene incapable of taking charge; he wanted to hold her still and make her want, want, want.

He wasn't mad at her. He _loved_ her. But he wanted to make her see it from his perspective. He wanted to drive her crazy, in a good way.

He found that Larxene was sensitive right behind her ear at the top of her neck; it was random, but a place he could reach easily with his mouth. Her hipbones - deceptively delicate, slightly jutting beauty - were also sensitive. If he drew circles with the tips of his fingers, it would send light shivers through her body.

Larxene pushed him and he tripped; she immediately joined him on the ground by the hedge.

She pressed against him, and he realized just what was going on; he let go her wrists, and lifted his head a bit. She was a little flushed, and the look in her eyes made him lower his once more.

"What," he said, trying to get a hold on his breathing, "brought that on?"

"Just shut up and kiss me," she growled. Roxas shook his head, even though everything in him was shouting at him for his stupidity.

"I don't want to get into something we might regret...and you have no idea how close I was to..."

"Just shut up," she snarled, and snuck a hand down to caress him through his slacks. His eyes closed and he tried to steady himself.

"Be quiet and let me have my way with you," she whispered. He couldn't have responded; she was suddenly in his pants and he was suddenly forgetting how to breathe.

He didn't know why - Larxene wasn't a particularly sexual person, and _oh, god, don't stop._

+-+

She sighed and rested her cheek on his shoulder. "You're such a worrywart. But...you know...maybe that's a good thing. I'm not really sure what made me want to do that; I just had this weird sensation that...you were...that you would leave without me."

Roxas hadn't seen it before, but he was suddenly struck with the realization that Larxene was afraid of being alone. Perhaps that was why she'd refrained from hitting him and suppressed her other violent tendencies lately.

"I wouldn't do that," he answered. "I promised."

He tightened his arms around her shoulders and held her close in silence for several moments. The summer heat added to the focus on his breathing soon put him into a slightly hazier state than the one he'd already been in.

Larxene drew in a long, but relaxed, breath. "Roxas?"

"Mm?"

She pulled away just a bit and looked into his face. "Sometimes...I wish I couldn't remember."

It made him sick to think about it...because sometimes, he felt the same way and the guilt ate at him every time the thought crossed his mind.

"Me too, Larx," he breathed, brushing a wisp of hair out of her face. "And it hurts every day."

+-+

He walked into the library and was hit by a wave of sadness. This place held a lot of memories; it was the place he'd worked since the beginning of his junior year. He'd often sat in those big armchairs and studied or talked with Larxene.

He took his key out of his pocket and walked up to the desk; his eyes widened.

"We've met before," he whispered.

The young man looked up from his book and his eyebrows raised. "So we have."

"I...I'm Roxas."

"Zexion. Now, did you have business with me?"

Roxas had to relax at Zexion's cool, professional tone. It seemed to suit him. "I'm turning in my library key. I've just graduated."

"So you're the one who snagged the yearly job," the boy mused. His purply-silver hair fell over one eye, and Roxas had to resist the urge to push it away. He had a feeling it wouldn't be appreciated.

"Yeah, but it's all yours now."

"Indeed," the younger boy responded, and Roxas handed over the key.

"Hey," he said impulsively. "Zexion. Are you...searching for someone?"

One eyebrow rose. "Why would I be?"

"It was just a thought. I was probably just confusing you with someone else."

"That must be it. Well, if that's everything, then I would appreciate a bit of room. You're blocking my light."

"Yeah, I'll get out of your way."

Zexion was like them, but he was lucky; Roxas just wasn't _quite _sure why he thought that.

+-+

It was three in the morning when Roxas stepped off the Gumi ship and onto Destiny Islands. Larxene's eyes were half-open and crusted with sleep, and his whole body felt like lead. He figured it hadn't been a good idea to stay awake for twenty-five hours in a row, but he consoled himself with the thought that graduation was definitely a time for celebration. He would crash on the bed in his old room with Larx; and in the morning, they would explain their idea to his parents.

He hadn't factored in irate and hurt family members.

"Roxas, how could you keep us in the dark about your graduation ceremony?!"

Roxas looked at his still-awake and felt a little guilty; Sora's eyes were sad, and his lips were pressed into a tight line. Behind him were their parents, looking much the same; his mother more so than his father, but _still._

"I…uh…didn't think…"

"You never _do," _a new voice said, and Roxas bit back any snide remarks. Riku was there, glaring daggers at him. Roxas wasn't going to give Riku the satisfaction of knowing he'd irked him.

"I'm sorry you feel that way, Riku, but since I was top of my class, it would seem I do think after all."

…Okay. Maybe he needed to work on controlling his mouth a little more.

Aerith sighed. "Both of you; knock it off. Rox, Larxene looks dead on her feet. Your bedroom is still clean and free, if she wants to sleep. You, on the other hand, have some explaining to do."

Roxas refrained from rolling his eyes. He was just as tired as Larxene was! But he thought maybe he owed his family an explanation. He had a few minutes to come up with the right words.

"C'mon, Larx. Let's get you into bed. I'll join you in a few minutes, all right?"

Larxene nodded, and Roxas knew she was too far gone to even understand what he was saying. She wouldn't have agreed to his suggestion otherwise. He helped her into the bedroom and onto the bed before taking her shoes off her feet and pulling the covers up to her shoulders. Leaning down, he kissed her forehead and whispered, "Be right back."

She mumbled something unintelligible and he had to smile. Then, he sighed and left the room to face his family.

"Sit down," Cloud said, gesturing to Roxas' favorite armchair. He took it gratefully. "What is it you want me to tell you?"

"Why you told us your graduation was two weeks from now, for a start," Aerith replied calmly. "Why did you lie about that?"

He sighed, and prepared himself for a lot of questions. "I don't like school," he began. "I don't like being in the spotlight. I don't even like _people _much. I refused to give the valedictorian speech at graduation, and I knew you'd wonder why. I didn't _want _you all there, because…well, _I_ didn't want to be there at all. I knew you'd all want to celebrate, but I didn't want that. I just…it's not that I didn't want _you _there…I just didn't want _anyone _there. We both – Larxene and I, that is – just wanted to go out as quietly as possible."

There was silence for a moment. Sora broke it by saying, "I can't lie; I don't understand that. But I guess I understand anyway."

Roxas closed his eyes and leaned his head on the back of the armchair. "I'm glad," he sighed. "I guess you got all my words."

Somehow, he remembered saying that exact thing before.

"_I guess _Sora_ got all my words."_

"_You shouldn't talk about him."_

"_Why not?"_

"_Because Sora shouldn't be important to you. You're Roxas, not Sora. Forget about him."_

It _had _to be a hallucination.

Right?

+-+

The Strife family was, surprisingly, very supportive of Roxas' and Larxene's quest.

He'd finally told them everything; the way he felt incomplete, the way he'd met Larxene. He told them he needed to find the redhead from his not-dreams; and he even told them that Larxene was not, in fact, his girlfriend.

He told them that he loved her, too.

It had been _Riku, _of all people, to help them understand. He'd summarized the whole thing perfectly:

"It's like a moth to the flame. The moth doesn't know _why _it's so attracted to the flame. The moth doesn't know _why _it's flying toward the flame, when it may die when it gets there. The moth can't control its instincts; it loves the flame."

He remembered feeling fire on his skin, and he had to remind himself that Riku did not – _could _not – know anything about it.

"Just don't forget about us," Sora said.

Aerith and Cloud helped them rent a small Gummi Highwind, so they didn't have to spend so much munny on Gummi Tram tickets.

"Hey, Roxas," Riku said, before he fastened the top.

"What?"

"I…I'm sorry. I never understood that you were cold and unfeeling because you were…cold and unfeeling. I just thought you were an asshole on purpose."

For the first time, Roxas smiled sincerely at Riku. "And you _were _an asshole on purpose. But I guess…I'm sorry too. For punching you in the face all those times you antagonized me."

Riku laughed. "Friends?"

"_Hell_ no."

But he laughed, too.

+-+

They nearly crashed into the courtyard of Palais Française. He was usually a careful driver, but Roxas had been distracted by the beauty of the gardens; there were all sorts of flowers, and there was even an entire section devoted to roses.

Although he laughed along with Larxene, he felt sad.

"I love you," he whispered as they got their bags out of the storage in the back.

"I love you too," she replied, and briefly touched her lips to his. "Now let's see if we can snag the West Wing. I've always wanted to stay there."

+-+

Roxas had been preparing himself for this, since he'd first seen the gardens.

That didn't mean it hurt any less to walk into their room – they _had _gotten the West Wing – and find Larxene's lips attached to those of a tall, pink-haired man garbed in flowing black.

"Oh, Roxas! This is Marluxia," she said breathily, when he cleared his throat to announce his presence.

"It's…nice to meet you," Roxas said, sticking his hand out for 'Marluxia' to take. As they shook, Roxas managed a fairly sincere smile.

He was happy for Larxene. He really, truly, _was. _He loved her, and wanted her to be happy. That didn't mean he didn't feel sick. That didn't mean he didn't feel like crying. That didn't mean he wasn't hurting.

It just made it a tiny bit easier to let her go.

"If you don't make her happy, I will find you and kill you," he promised the pink-haired man in an undertone.

"She's the one I've been looking for," the man replied. "I'm glad she had you to take care of her…thank you. And, for what it's worth…I'm sorry."

This wasn't _right. _This man was arrogant, and conceited, and…why wasn't he any of those things any more? Had he been changed, too?

+-+

"You're sure you want to go alone?"

He smiled tiredly at her. "You found your One, didn't you? I want you to be happy. I'll…see you later?"

"Roxas…"

It was his last thunder kiss, and it was the only one he didn't enjoy.

+-+

He was twenty-two. He hadn't seen or spoken to Larxene in just under two years; he'd thought of her every day, but he didn't think he could bear to see her. Not right now. She was happy with Marluxia; she had been since they'd found each other four years ago. So Roxas was happy for her…but he still couldn't see her.

He couldn't let her see him this frustrated and unhappy. He couldn't let her see him this vulnerable. She wouldn't let it show, but she'd feel guilty…and it wasn't her fault.

It was his. It was Roxas' fault, for being unable to truly let her go.

He stepped out of his Gummi Highwind (he'd finally bought the ugly red-and-yellow piece of junk after a year; and by now, he could navigate the Gummi lanes with his eyes closed), stepping into Twilight Town for the first time since graduation. He wondered, idly, if Hayner still lived on the other side of town, and how Zexion had done in the library.

As he swung his bag out of the storage space, he caught a flash of red. He turned, gasped, and felt unwanted tears leak out of his eyes.

"_Roxas: number thirteen. Chosen by the Keyblade."_

"_Remember who your true friends are!"_

"_This is called a kiss. It's a show of affection."_

"_Where did you learn to kiss like _that?"

"_Even if I did know, I wouldn't tell you who your Other is. You don't need to know."_

"_No, I don't love you. But that doesn't mean I wouldn't love you if I could."_

The eyes were green. They weren't Larxene's eyes; they were _His _eyes. The hair was red; _His _red. He was tall.

He wasn't Larxene, but Roxas knew they could be happy together. Because…

"I've looked all over for you…I feel like I've been chasing you forever. I finally _found _you. I was beginning to think I never would…I _missed _you."

"And I've missed you, _so much…_even though I don't even know your name."

"My name's Axel. Got it memorized?"

He _wasn't _Larxene; he was Xaros' Lexa.

Roxas' Axel.

"I'll never forget it. I'm Roxas."

They _could _be happy together. Axel was Roxas' One, just like Marluxia was Larxene's.

Their lips met, and the world dropped away. He couldn't think about Larxene at that moment; this was the fire he'd always wanted. Craved. _Needed._

He was Lexa's Xaros. Axel's Roxas.

Moth to the flame.

* * *

OMG. That took me SO LONG to finish, and it didn't quite turn out the way I wanted. But it seriously made me cry. I'm such a sap; I even cry at the sad stuff in my own head! But yeah...there you go. I'm not sure anyone has made it to this point, but hey - I like it. Thirty-seven pages, bay-bee!

So, if any of you _are _reading this...what do you think? I'd really like feedback on this.


End file.
